Caption Contest #304

(above image courtesy of newyorker.com.)

10. Did you leave your nail clipper? TSA’s been confiscating them.
9. What’s in your wallet?
8. No, Frank, it’s a VIOLINS symposium.
7. Did you take out the trash first?
6. Tell Ms. Bachmann I love her hair.
5. You got all that for opening a new checking account?
4. Honey, he’s just here to take our daughter to the movies.
3. You don’t have to prove anything. It happens to lots of guys!
2. How many Republican primaries did you pack for?
1. Be home by eight. We’re having tofu burgers.

Caption Contest #303

(above image courtesy of newyorker.com.)

10. It’s amazing how quickly the kids do their homework now.
9. Instead of Headhunter, let’s say I’m in the executive job placement business.
8. These days it’s the visual signals that keep our teenage son in line.
7. You’ve found an excellent place for that extra wastebasket.
6. We think it doesn’t work anymore, but we’re too afraid to test it.
5. We brought it to Antiques Roadshow, but the appraiser said it’s just a replica.
4. And the grapes from this French wine have been recently pressed.
3. Visits from salesmen have dropped off precipitously.
2. We hope you won’t cut Olivia from the cheerleading squad.
1. Isabelle goes to bed at seven. And I shouldn’t have to tell you, ‘No Boys.’

(Author's note: This week's might be a little below standard. And late to post. But my wife delivered our baby on Wednesday night!)

Caption Contest #302

(above image courtesy of newyorker.com.)

10. He’s my buddy, Holly.
9. Well, when you’re the boss’s son…
8. Anyone else feel like ordering Mexican?
7. Studies show layoffs go better when music’s playing.
6. Bill’s just been elected Office Troubadour.
5. They tried to make a leveraged buyout, but I said No No No.
4. It’s his therapist’s solution to keeping his hands to himself.
3. Bob’s expecting a mid-season crossover where Trump has us compete on America’s Got Talent.
2. If the Colts had won, you’d see Frank from Accounts Receivable in a tutu.
1. You’re right. We’re more of a ukulele company.

Caption Contest #301

(above image courtesy of newyorker.com)

10. More brainless suits.
9. Excuse me, janitors, which way to the head?
8. I thought that helicopter was flying too low.
7. This floor’s closed for cleaning. Didn’t they see the sign?
6. I heard Donald Trump got rid of all the heads of his company.
5. The managers who work here are so absent-minded.
4. The Mannequins Local 235 is on strike again.
3. These are the bodies of television’s talking heads.
2. I told you this company was full of dummies.
1. It’s not just the CEO. Everyone’s lost face because of the ponzi scheme.